It’s been a while. I’ve been “busy” to say the least, but this busy-ness has taken me into a role away from the normal type of busy I get sucked into. I have been away from the computer. Quite a fabulous break considering schoolwork during the semester requires the use of the computer multiple times a day, plus most of my jobs in the past have required computer/internet access. But that whole lifestyle drives me crazy and I always do my best to get away from it…
I’ve quickly grown accustom to experiencing and “doing life” away from the computer and around limited technologies this summer. It’s been my goal for some time to scale down my time on here and in any “virtual” or online pseudo-reality. I’d been pushing to return back to things of a more tangible and real nature that I personally feel is more in-tune with the ways of the Lord. I’ve been hungry for less distraction and to have deeper clarity of mind, heart, and spirit. Really to connect more intimately with my Father.
So the Lord provided me with a job. One that I initially thought would provide me with the opportunity to be less distracted and away from these technologies, but it’s brought up unique challenges and stretches me in ways I didn’t imagine. The job literally fell into my lap and wasn’t one I searched out or even had qualifications for. The turn around time was insanely fast though, they offered me the job during the interview, I had the weekend to decide and then two weeks of training began the beginning of the following week.
My summer days are spent mostly outside and typically working 24 hours 5 days a week with high schoolers studying and learning about trees, plants, insects, birds, snails, salamanders, backpacking, outdoor ethics, etc. I sleep in a tent or under a tarp 5 nights a week, and cannot shower between Sunday and Friday.
I have a full week off this week since the 4th of July wasn’t scheduled to have campers. The thing that has me concerned now that I have time to process is this: I have kind of been in a state of what I’ll refer to as “perpetual motion”.
I hit the ground running as soon as training began for this job, but hadn’t stopped or shifted gears to reflect or process any of it until now. I only have a day off in between weeks, but even those didn’t feel like rest. My methodical, slow transitioning natured-self, entered an entirely new experience (minus the part where I’m responsible for the care and safety of campers – the majority of my jobs have been in that kind of capacity) at lightning fast speed. There were multiple scenarios and sudden changes that I had to adjust to during my first official weeks on the job even after training. I only had one brief breakdown last week from a sudden adjustment but because of the nature of the work, I just had to keep moving and did so within the hour by the grace of God… I felt like I was barely hanging on.
As I’ve finally been able to slow down and reflect, I notice how much of my life has been in this state of perpetual motion… it’s in the background and we don’t recognize it. Time doesn’t stand still and “life” (as we call it) keeps on rolling. A full month of my life just flew by unnoticed until I realized today’s date…
Today is the anniversary of when Jesus came into my life and changed my heart forever… I almost didn’t pay attention. I almost just let this day fly by without stopping to realize its significance.
I reflect… a lot… maybe too much. But I try to recall memories on a regular basis and assess my heart, life-status, and the relationships the Lord gives me. I don’t want to be in a state of perpetual motion. It’s necessary for me to stop, evaluate, and treasure the moments… write them out to recollect, prioritize, and know what has value.
In my opinion, I don’t think life should be in this state of perpetual motion. Even though “time” keeps moving forward… we serve a God who is not constricted to this “law” and I believe He wants us to slow down, stop, listen, and know Him. So that’s what I’m doing this week and will try to remember as I return to work next week. Slow down, listen, and love God and the people surrounding you. Stop and cherish the moments and relationships in your life.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.” – Psalm 46:10