…when I did things all for the glory of a King.

…when I served people for the sake of HIS name, not for the sake of my “great desire” to serve.

…when I trusted Him with my heart, not trusted how much I desired His heart.

…when my words were few because I would rather let my hands and feet do the sharing.

…when I didn’t want my right hand to know what my left was doing.

…when I didn’t want people to know ME or what I did/do, but I wanted people to only know HIM!

…when it didn’t matter if a person understood my heart, because it was already at rest and perfectly understood in the hands of my Father.

When did the shift start occurring?

When did I stray so far from my Father and His image?

When did “desire” and “my will” become my god/idol?

When did I start worshiping myself rather than glorifying His Majesty?

When did I get to be “SO important”?

When did a ‘ministry’ get centered around Brittney instead of the gospel and blood of Jesus Christ?

When did things shift from another persons’ needs to MY need above all?

And why do so few people ever call me out on this to keep me on the narrow way?

Where is the balance of sharing my heart with someone and not glorifying it, but sharing His heart and glorifying Him?

 

I’m so exhausted from living to acknowledge myself and glorifying “me” in the subtle ways that I can hide from most people… by way of adding ‘but I only want to glorify God’, yet still I worship and idolize the desire and not the King.

Here’s the truth… the truth is, even if I could or did have the purest desire, will, and motive… if I’m glorifying the desire, I’m still dadgum focused on ME and that desire then means nothing.