… or spiritual crisis?

Ever have one of those seasons where you are just in this spot that can only be described with a question – “Lord, what the heck is going on?!?!?!”

Well, I used to think I had had a couple of those before. Then I hit this time period of my life… and I’m more like “Sweet Lord Jesus HELP ME, I’m flopping around like a fish out of water! I don’t know which way is up! I can’t see! I can’t breathe! (or maybe that’s just all the tears every two seconds and the lack of oxygen from the incessant painful weeping?) What the heck is going on?!?!?!”

Now, you’ve likely noticed my lack lately of writing and posting? Yeah, that’s one of my indications that I’m in one of those crazy seasons that are indescribable. I mean, seriously, the best description I can come up with is the one above and I can’t even elaborate.

I have received incredible encouragement from His body though. My parents are amazing, for one. And I have three key female friends in my life who have each separately touched my heart and pointed me to Jesus lately on a regular basis in unique ways (each of which are not near me physically because of our scattered locations). I even receive prayer and encouragement upon occasion from friends in other states – whether by text or chat. I’m hugely desperate and thirsty for these moments and longing to text, chat with, or speak to these people… so part of me is feeling EXTREMELY high-maintenance and self-centered because I’m severely lacking in the giving-out department lately.

All I can really do at this point is keep hanging on to the Cross till it’s splintered my hands and I remember that Jesus still holds me and has me – regardless of how I currently “feel”.

If you’re in one of these seasons too… just remember: It’s not an emotional crisis, midlife crisis, or identity crisis – because who do we belong to? Who defines us? Who tells us who we are? Whose plans prevail? Who guides our steps?

The Lord, exactly, through the Holy Spirit.

I have to hang onto and believe this truth, because honestly, I’ve tried defining this season as one of those three just to try to make some sense of it all… but I really don’t need to, because He’s got this and He’s got me!

I just discovered this song for the first time today. It was soothing for my aching heart and soul, but also a convicting reminder that makes you want to also just worship the Almighty worthy God who makes all things new!