This is going to be one of my last blog posts for a while. I will be taking a break from blogging.
I have been crying out to the Lord lately about needing Him and desiring His presence. Yearning for deeper intimacy with Him again. Also for His help in being more sensitive to His Spirit. Needing more of a direct relationship and communication with Him, listening out for His voice even though I’ve never audibly heard it (I want to!).
For the first time in what has felt like years, I just went outside to be with Him yesterday. My heart did not ache, it did not yearn, it did not feel. This was painful (there was not even a feeling of pain, but just the knowing… if that makes sense). Yet, I started to sense that this was exactly what the Lord wanted me to experience in those moments with Him. He was trying to capture my attention. My mind kept going to my “writings” and how I could articulate what was going on… it was then that I knew… this blog had become a distraction.
If I am desiring deeper intimacy with my Father, to be more sensitive to His Spirit, to be more devoted to seeking His heart, to abide in His presence… then I need to cut out the things that have been taking me away from Him and that closeness.
It isn’t the blog itself, I know this… it is what is in my heart. So as I take a break from this, I am just desiring for the Lord to come change my heart and to be drawn closer to Him. Since I’ve shared how He’s been making me new, I want to continue to walk in that and draw closer to Him as He draws me in. I want to be captivated and caught up in Who He is. He’s wooing me, so I have to listen and let go of this current distraction/idol.
I will likely be back… I don’t know how long I’ll be away and not blogging… but I need these precious alone times with Jesus again and to seek Him and listen to His heartbeat more intently