Outpourings from an imperfect but redeemed & treasured heart of clay.

Raw Emotions

My heart is in an unusual place… a passionate place I have not felt for some time. And I’m meaning it’s the familiar feeling where I was when I first received the truth and gave my heart and life away to Jesus Christ…

I do not know why nor understand why the Lord has suddenly begun to awaken these deep raw emotions and feelings. It’s a inner boldness I have not had for some time though.

He is bringing deep conviction and restoring some foundational truths in my life. Jesus. Jesus on the Cross, His death and resurrection.

I’d forgotten that it’s that time of year actually, until I just wrote out “resurrection”. So perhaps it’s already on a lot of people’s minds/hearts.

The message Jesus preached is something the Lord seems to be hitting me with the past few days. Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near…

I’ve about had it with my own personal agenda, sin and darkness of my heart and nature, the creepy nasty areas I hold on to, defend, and justify. “Surrender” and “let go” is a major backdrop to what God has been doing in my heart the past few days. It ain’t easy, but it’s urgent… the Kingdom of Heaven is near and I don’t want to miss it just because I think I should hold onto my ‘rights’ and ways.

I know this is all very vague and spastic, but I can’t go into detail at the moment. There is just too much to process through in my heart in order to articulate it out. Right now I’m just in the raw emotion phase, where stuff is surfacing while simultaneously bombarding my heart and it’s hitting me… HARD.

Chew on these verses though… I have been and they’re pretty intense. Let His Spirit show you what these verses mean for you personally. They are hitting me extremely deep… and I only just read them this morning.

But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. – James 1:14-15

For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. – Philippians 3:18-21

So… would you rather stay living in your life of desire, giving birth to sin… which ultimately gives birth to DEATH? Living as an enemy of the cross of Christ? Or take Jesus’ word as He said it… Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near (Matthew 4:17).

Where is your heart?

Pay attention to what you’re sowing and investing into…

“If your heart takes more pleasure in reading novels, or watching TV, or going to the movies, or talking to friends, rather than just sitting alone with God and embracing Him, sharing His cares and His burdens, weeping and rejoicing with Him, then how are you going to handle forever and ever in His presence? You’d be bored to tears in heaven, if you’re not ecstatic about God now!!” — Keith Green

1 Comment

  1. Brittney!
    First of all, beautiful writing! You write from the bottom of your heart and it shows. Second of all, girl we missed our skype date, I went out of state and I’m sure you got busy too! We gotta reschedule!
    I love you a lot :) keep writing!

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